Coming Out in Albania

Me being gay in Albania. Pretty wild, right?

My name is Jon. I am a 33 year old American Peace Corps Volunteer living in a small town in eastern Albania. Librazhd is much like any other Albanian town: Chickens everywhere, grandmothers riding donkeys, and a regular call to prayer echoing from the local mosque. This has been my home for the last 17 months, and where I decided to come out as gay.

 

I have been out of the closet from the last 17 years, but Albania is much different from my hometown of San Francisco. So I accepted the fact that joining Peace Corps might mean going back in. However, after I moved to Albania, I found that the LGBT movement here is fast-progressing, and I wanted to do my part to support the brave women and men fighting for this cause. With encouragement from my loving parents, family, friends, and fellow Peace Corps volunteers, I felt ready to take this on.

 

I first considered requesting a move to the capital city of Tirana to do this LGBT work, as it would be safer to do it there. An activist friend suggested that I consider simply being myself in Librazhd. Would it be easy? No, probably not. Could anyone guarantee my safety? Nope. Might this crazy idea actually be worth the risk? You bet!

 

Still, I had worries. Despite making many friends, I felt like they would immediately reject me if they knew that I was gay; I wonder if many people would invest years of their life building friendships that could potentially turn violent.  This fear was also reinforced by people around me and from what I have read. Luckily, support came to me just in time from an unlikely source. 

 

Me and my best friend in Librazhd

The first Albanian in Librazhd I told was my best friend, a straight young man well known in the community. He already knew a lot about me and we had spent a lot of time together, and because I felt that if I were to have a reason to return to Librazhd after my Peace Corps service, I'd have to make at least one true friend here. This meant being my true self. 

 

I sat down with him over lunch and told him my truth. He was very supportive, and in fact had suspicions for some time. His cousin had asked him previously if I was gay, and it made him consider this. He told me:

"It doesn't matter to me. You are my brother. I accept you for the way you are. It makes no difference to me. I love you like family." 

It was hard not to tear up over his unexpected reaction. His sister (who lives in the United States, and who knew about me previously) had hinted that he would be accepting, but I was still worried. In small towns like this, if you decide to reveal a secret, once it is out there is no controlling the spread of gossip and rumor. Still, it was a risk that I wanted to take. I am so very glad that I did. 

 

Since telling my friend, word has been getting out. I thought it a good idea to simply let the gossip spread. I told my friend that if someone asks him about me, he is to tell them the truth. We are a team now. Every day I will come out to at least one new person. By the end of my service, most people here would have heard about the gay American man. 

 

My friends showing their support.

I recall one day coming out to two guys. They asked how I liked the girls here (guys often refer to a beautiful girl as a "peach", a vulgar term for a vagina) and my friend interjected and said "He's not interested in them. My friend Xhon here likes the banana, not the peach. Okay?" They simply said "Oh, okay." Bam, That's how it happened! Ever since that moment they have been very accepting and supportive. As least 30 people here now know about me being gay, and I have not been driven out of town with pitchforks yet. 

 

Albanians seem to value the opinions of Americans. I want to use that influence to help further rights for my LGBT brothers and sisters in Albania. My hope is that people will now have at least one person that they know of who is gay (and hopefully their impression of me is a positive one). I feel that simply to know and accept one gay person is enough to open their hearts to all. Maybe one day it will make it easier for a parent or family member to accept their gay child, brother, sister, or cousin.

"I care for what's in your mind, not about your sexual preference. To me, it's okay, and I care for you. You are my friend. That is what matters." – Librazhd resident, early 20s.

Me being me in Albania. :-)