Happy New Year from Albania! (Or as we say here... "Gezuar vitin i ri!")
Over the course of the past month, I have been thinking more and more about my love/hate relationship with technology. When I applied to Peace Corps I thought I was going to live in a mud hut somewhere, isolated, with no wifi, no internet, no power. Life in Albania has been quite different. It has become rather passé to complain about things being "too good," and frankly there are benefits, advantages, downsides to any living situation. So why these mixed feelings? I guess it comes down to the old adage "wherever you go, there you are." It is so true. One can wish for a transformation to happen, seeking said change through a new look, new geographic location, countless resolutions to change, or even committing one's self to the care of others (read: bootcamp). Isn't it often the case that although it is easier to change one's address, it still doesn't change the underlying issue that "I am not comfortable with change"?
Okay, so I realize that I just changed the subject from "One" to "I"... I swear that I did that on purpose. I did it because I am guilty. I am guilty of seeking that which I had all along. I sought out far away places, with people seemingly different from the one's I know back home in the US, passionately learning about the local language and wanting so desperately to make a positive impact in my new home. I wanted not just to help transform another place, and hopefully make it better, I wanted to transform myself, make myself more worldly, understand the issues going on outside of my little bubble in San Francisco/Bay Area. I really feel like that transformation is happening, little by little. I am becoming aware that I am indeed a "people person," I'm a lot less concerned about what people think about me, I am more open about my intentions, and am learning how I can remain open enough to befriend someone I had just met. Yes. It happens. You will see if you come and visit. These are things that Albania has changed about me. I merely showed up for the transformation.
So back to the Tech gab. I felt like I had to get off the grid to make this transformation. I thought that I really wanted to disconnect for a while from my American life and dive headfirst into another. Well, I did. What I didn't realize was that whether or not technology is around, I have always had the chance to talk with others, to make friends, to make a positive impact. Technology (in excess or deficit) doesn't change who I am. I can choose to check my Facebook a hundred times a day, but that's just it - It's a choice. I can delete my account if I want. I may have been initially a bit disappointed that I didn't move into a mudhut with no power or wifi, but that doesn't mean I don't face challenges, or that I can't transform. On the contrary, freedom comes from within. If I start looking for validation in cyberspace, my outlook on life starts to get tied into another world. Just like Macklemore says, "Have you read YouTube comments lately?" It is frustrating and tragic. There is so much hate, bigotry, and vitriol in those little lines below the 'Tube. I simply have to shut it off. Besides, I have friends back home to email, and friends in Albania waiting to chat and have coffee. :-)
