Coming Out in Albania

Me being gay in Albania. Pretty wild, right?

My name is Jon. I am a 33 year old American Peace Corps Volunteer living in a small town in eastern Albania. Librazhd is much like any other Albanian town: Chickens everywhere, grandmothers riding donkeys, and a regular call to prayer echoing from the local mosque. This has been my home for the last 17 months, and where I decided to come out as gay.

 

I have been out of the closet from the last 17 years, but Albania is much different from my hometown of San Francisco. So I accepted the fact that joining Peace Corps might mean going back in. However, after I moved to Albania, I found that the LGBT movement here is fast-progressing, and I wanted to do my part to support the brave women and men fighting for this cause. With encouragement from my loving parents, family, friends, and fellow Peace Corps volunteers, I felt ready to take this on.

 

I first considered requesting a move to the capital city of Tirana to do this LGBT work, as it would be safer to do it there. An activist friend suggested that I consider simply being myself in Librazhd. Would it be easy? No, probably not. Could anyone guarantee my safety? Nope. Might this crazy idea actually be worth the risk? You bet!

 

Still, I had worries. Despite making many friends, I felt like they would immediately reject me if they knew that I was gay; I wonder if many people would invest years of their life building friendships that could potentially turn violent.  This fear was also reinforced by people around me and from what I have read. Luckily, support came to me just in time from an unlikely source. 

 

Me and my best friend in Librazhd

The first Albanian in Librazhd I told was my best friend, a straight young man well known in the community. He already knew a lot about me and we had spent a lot of time together, and because I felt that if I were to have a reason to return to Librazhd after my Peace Corps service, I'd have to make at least one true friend here. This meant being my true self. 

 

I sat down with him over lunch and told him my truth. He was very supportive, and in fact had suspicions for some time. His cousin had asked him previously if I was gay, and it made him consider this. He told me:

"It doesn't matter to me. You are my brother. I accept you for the way you are. It makes no difference to me. I love you like family." 

It was hard not to tear up over his unexpected reaction. His sister (who lives in the United States, and who knew about me previously) had hinted that he would be accepting, but I was still worried. In small towns like this, if you decide to reveal a secret, once it is out there is no controlling the spread of gossip and rumor. Still, it was a risk that I wanted to take. I am so very glad that I did. 

 

Since telling my friend, word has been getting out. I thought it a good idea to simply let the gossip spread. I told my friend that if someone asks him about me, he is to tell them the truth. We are a team now. Every day I will come out to at least one new person. By the end of my service, most people here would have heard about the gay American man. 

 

My friends showing their support.

I recall one day coming out to two guys. They asked how I liked the girls here (guys often refer to a beautiful girl as a "peach", a vulgar term for a vagina) and my friend interjected and said "He's not interested in them. My friend Xhon here likes the banana, not the peach. Okay?" They simply said "Oh, okay." Bam, That's how it happened! Ever since that moment they have been very accepting and supportive. As least 30 people here now know about me being gay, and I have not been driven out of town with pitchforks yet. 

 

Albanians seem to value the opinions of Americans. I want to use that influence to help further rights for my LGBT brothers and sisters in Albania. My hope is that people will now have at least one person that they know of who is gay (and hopefully their impression of me is a positive one). I feel that simply to know and accept one gay person is enough to open their hearts to all. Maybe one day it will make it easier for a parent or family member to accept their gay child, brother, sister, or cousin.

"I care for what's in your mind, not about your sexual preference. To me, it's okay, and I care for you. You are my friend. That is what matters." – Librazhd resident, early 20s.

Me being me in Albania. :-)

What I Discovered About Fitness In Peace Corps... ("Wait, Weight, Don't Tell Me!")

Staying fit in Peace Corps can at times be interesting (read: a challenge). I didn't know what to expect in regards to exercise, and I am still learning. It has been a hard road long before Peace Corps. Here’s why:

My gym days in 'Merica :-P

I wasn't the fittest kid growing up, in fact I was what you would call chubby. I didn't know anything about sports, exercise, or nutrition. I had a basic understanding of group sports and calisthenics from middle school and high school PE class, but nothing that would really motivate me to continue. Throughout my 20's, I learned little by little about all these things. Since I didn't play organized sports as a kid, I never learned the basics and had to learn all the do's and don'ts on my own. I suppose that my journey into fitness started during my Senior year of High School. I had been wanting to play football since Junior year, but after several discussions with the football coach, I soon realized that I should have started looooong ago. Of course, this may not be news to most people - but I was not aware, and thus had too late a start. I was kinda screwed straight from the gate. Although football was out of the question, he did suggest that I sign up for his weight training class; and that I did. At the age of 18, I began lifting weights. Though this commitment, I discovered a new passion.

Cut to me 14 years later, joining the Peace Corps. I knew things would be different. I had lots of questions: Will there be any fitness centers or gyms where I’m going? Will I be able to run outside safely? Will I lose my motivation?  How would I adapt?

Well, there is a gym in my town. Although the folks there are very friendly and try to maintain the equipment, it is more often than not in varying stages of disrepair, unfortunately. Better than nothing, right? I'm sure there are Peace Corps places where there isn't a gym for hours away, so I am so grateful. I have been working out there for the last 7 months or so. I am grateful that it exists, but must admit that it isn’t all roses. With very young kids running around, playing with the weights and equipment, (sometimes nearly injuring themselves!) I find it hard to maintain my desire to keep going back. It's hard to be around. I’ve even come in when a guy was smoking a cigarette while doing bicep curls! It’s the contrast you see here so frequently. I could go on, but I like to focus on solutions rather than problems. It's not my place to judge. But since it has been the only gym in town, I found myself going back. Adapt right?

My community gym

Running by the village of Togëz

Having been recently motivated by lack of money to actually afford the gym (more on volunteer "wages" later), I have taken to a habit I usually avoid – running outdoors (especially when it is cold). I’m a gym rat through and through (or gym bunny, which I guess sounds cuter LOL). But okaaaay. Whatev. I found out a few things: 1. It’s not so bad, if you don’t mind a little cold and a lot of onlookers along the way (the villagers don’t see jogging Americans coming through very often. hehe 2. I get to say hello to pretty much all the shop-owners along the way. 3. People get to see “the American” running – who knows? Maybe one day they will join me. :-)
 
My friend Arbi and I have written an outline plan to build a little mini-gym right here at the house. Sweet! Sure it will be basic, but we can make it work. A bench, some cement bricks for box jumps, a bar for pull-ups, parallel bars for dips, a set of free-weight dumbbells and barbells, and a couple gym mats – done! Oh, and of course, a clock. What I discovered about life in Peace Corps is that there are #NoExcuses for missing a workout.

Me and my buddy Arbi after a killer workout

Will the Real Shqiponja Please Stand Up?

There may be an imposter in our midst here in Albania – watching us as we pass, knowing that many cannot detect its existence. Flying under the radar, it has spread throughout the country and in places unknown. Why is it there? What is its purpose? Where did it come from?

I’m speaking, of course, of the eagle on the so-called “new flag of Albania.” Well, not officially. This new eagle has undergone some cosmetic changes, including a more pronounced jaw and talon enhancements. It still remains the silhouette of an open-winged bi-cephalated eagle on a red field. 

One question I ask folks is “have you noticed?” I certainly didn’t until it was brought to my attention by my counterpart. It begs the question – has the official flag changed, or has this stylized version simply appeared? I decided to do a little research and here’s what I found.

Several (Albanian) folks deny any such variation of the flag even existing. Others (in my community) resent the new flag, as they don’t recognize it as the official symbol of their nation. Some see it merely as a stylistic creation from foreign companies producing Albanian flags and related chotchkies. So what is this new flag, and what does it look like? Let’s compare them, shall we?

Official Flag of Albania (“Republic of Albania”)

“New” Flag of Albania

It’s easy enough to tell the difference, but it is unclear why any changes were made. Certainly we have seen the change of flags here in Albania over the years by different regimes. From the independence of Albania, through its existence as a Principality, Kingdom, and later Socialist Republic. (Shown below)

Flag of the Independent Albania (1912–1914).

Flag of the Principality of Albania (1914–1920).

Flag of the People's Socialist Republic of Albania (1946–1992)

Ok, so there is a variation out there. So what? Well, the eagle is a symbol of pride and nationalism for Albanians. It represents the sovereignty of Albania in the Balkans. The eagle was originally adopted from the Byzantine banner, and has subsequently been used by numerous noble families in their respective coats-of-arms throughout Albanian history since the Middle Ages. 

This “new” flag has been the cause of controversy particularly during the 100^th anniversary of Albania’s independence, when Albania was presented with this new eagle. Now thoroughly interspersed throughout Albania, including placement in front of official government buildings, one can find this flag still flying in their local community. One might wonder how there can be two official flags? Would that “fly” in America? It is not just a matter of artistic license, but of national pride – From what I have observed, Albanians are very proud of their heritage and their ancestry. To change a flag is a big deal, but has anything officially changed, or has a new Shqiponja simply come to town?

http://www.top-channel.tv/english/artikull.php?id=7645