Don't Put Jack In The Box (He Won't Stay!)

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The sign is in Serbian means 'My rights, my demands' (rough translation)

What an amazing last several days this has been! I have been back in Librazhd for a day now, and so far nobody in my community has mentioned anything about my participation in the pride event. The pitchforks never made an appearance thankfully! It is a bit strange really, after an experience like this. I come back to Librazhd with nothing but a group of young guys (cunes) hollering at me in the street, and making meaningless conversation. They were most likely drunk and just being silly, but I just thought it so weird. They asked what I was up to. I said I just came back from Serbia. They were shocked, and a few seconds later, asked if I met a nice Serbian girl. Sigh.........  And these are people who can see all my Facebook posts! I'm laughing and crying at the same time. Mostly, I'm just glad to be back. The truth is I missed Librazhd. I really did.

A proud moment holding the Pride flag down the streets of Belgrade. That's me in the blue shirt (in case you didn't know)

Well-protected, at any cost.

I think sometimes that I should be less ostentatious about my gay-ness - that I should tone it down a bit. To go from diva to queen, or queen to fairy, or something like that. I don't know the order. Anyway. When I was walking up to the parade, I just felt a sudden rush of adrenaline that really made me want to be... well... me! I wanted to be me for a long time now. Being in Peace Corps kinda puts one in an awkward situation of potentially going back in the closet. That's what happened to me. Well, I decided to go in the closet because it was suggested and took that suggestion. But now? Well, now I'm a big 'ol gay jack-in-the-box., and I can't seem to but the lid back on... Pop! There I go again, bustin' out the door! No closet for me. No sir-ee.

Me and my friend Bunny

Many of you reading might be thinking "oh hell, here we go... I hope he knows what he's doing." Actually, that's what I think to myself too! The truth is, no one has ever been in this particular situation before. Not now. Not in Albania. Not in my community. Not me. So....

Is it a wise decision to continue down this path? I believe so.
Do I know it will be completely safe? Absolutely not.
How do I feel about it? Scared, but certain. This is the right thing to do.

I'd always prefer to be me, even if it means walking blindly into the night. This past week has strengthened my resolve, and further solidified my conviction.

From left to right - Peter Tatchell (Peter Tatchell Foundation), Tanya Domi (Columbia University), Brian Silva (Marriage Equality USA), Irene Hemelaar (LGBTI Emancipation),  and Frank Van Dalen (Politieke Academie, Amsterdam)

During the week leading up to the Pride Parade, they held the Belgrade Pride Conference presented by Civil Rights Defenders. I found the lectures and panels quite interesting. Discussions included LGBT activists speaking on the realities of their respective communities, local journalists articulating the struggles of the media in Serbia, NGOs speaking about grassroots efforts, and elected officials and representatives putting the LGBT discussion in terms of European Integration and refugees. The buzzword of the week was "Cross-sectionality" seeing our struggles not as one singular effort, but as an interaction of many intersecting populations and needs, taking every perspective into account. The panels gave everyone in the room a chance to hear many different perspectives and to learn about the unique situation of each LGBT person in that room. Hopefully we all came out of that room appreciating just how unique we all are.

A panel of LGBT Activists (from left to right) - Mona (Kosovo), Lejla (Bosnia), Xheni (Albania) and Danijel (Montenegro);
Moderator Vasilika (Albania)

During the course of the week, I got the chance to meet queer activists from all over the Balkans - Macedonia, Kosovo, Montenegro, Serbia, Greece, Albania, and Bosnia/Herzegovina. Although I don't know any Greek, and only a few phrases in Serbian, most people spoke enough English to converse. I could speak with the Albanians and Kosovars as they both speak Albanian. Lucky for me, at a conference like this, pretty much all the debates, lectures and panels are held in English. We did have headsets for the sessions where multiple languages were spoken. At times I found it hard to really understand the translations coming through the headsets, but it was certainly better than nothing. I feel so grateful to hear their opinions and viewpoints. Having a voice is what this is all about. The freedom to express ourselves. The freedom to get together, assemble, and make ourselves known to the world. :-)

We may live in different countries, but we are activists. We are family.