Oh God, Grant Me The Serenity...

I find that my more interesting days happen when I pray in the morning. One of my usual prayers is that I ask God/Higher Power/etc. for the power to let go.

It is not that I don't care. Completely the opposite. I care too much. So much so that I worry excessively at times and that can prevent me from being of service to others. I pray not for the willingness to ignore my responsibilities but rather the strength to be present and to release my fears so that I can enjoy this amazing experience.

Living alone can be a challenge at times. I really have to be on guard and watch out for my character defects - particularly re: fear, jealousy, self-pity, and ego/self-importance. When I don't have someone evaluating me constantly, I must do so on my own. As with any job, I want to do my best and to make sure not to fall behind. Sometimes I think that my mind tends to expect more of myself in times like this. It also tends to project the accomplishments and accolades of other people onto me. This is quite easy given a flexible schedule and regular access to social media/facebook. The truth is, the work of other volunteers has no bearing on my experience. It is up to me to face what challenges may come, and to acknowledge personal victories. I can't compare myself to others, because we all have such different experiences. We come from different backgrounds, different places, and have different experiences, challenges, and comfort zones. As they often say in Peace Corps ad nauseum "Every volunteer's experience is different." Well.... yeah, it kind of is. ;-)

Family, Friends and a Filibuster

In front of some house

So... I was sent back to the US for a month for a medical issue (turned out to be nothing, so I'm very glad). Since I was in the US, and was what I call a "walking wounded," I decided to take advantage of my "forced vacation."
First I have to say that the most common fear in Peace Corps (from what I gather from my fellow PCV's) is being sent home before the end of service. When I was told that I needed to go back for a while, I was less than happy to say the least. I was only 14 months into my 27 months of service. It was hard emotionally, as the process was not clear and I had a lot of unanswered questions. Harder than that, I felt that my medical decisions were being made by my employer - a scary concept. To make things even more nerve-wrecking, my employment status was contingent on how their assessment would go before 45 days of 'med-evac' were up. 

Back in Albania!

A common theme in my peace corps service is that I have to be flexible and just try to navigate every situation that comes up. There isn't always an easy answer for problems. Such as in life in general. So as I waited in my apartment in Eastern Albania for the PC Washington office to decide what to do, I was sitting with a lot of feelings. Fear of what the future will hold. Since I am 9 hours ahead of my friends and family in California, I don't always get to contact them when I would like. Hardship.

Luckily I have some good Peace Corps friends that I can call. Sometimes I need help, sometimes they do. Making close friends as an adult can be harder than it seems. Which is why I really value any new friend I make in Peace Corps. Locals or other Americans. I really rely on my local social network in times like these.

So what did I do for a month? Helping out at the Peace Corps Office in DC with LGBT initiatives (they have a great team there!), going on medical visits, and coordinating some projects in Albania (remotely that is!)... and:
1. Lots of reading! Favorite was Carlos Castaneda's Return to Ixtlan
2. Ran the National Mall listening to Belle and Sebastian's 'Dear Catastrophe Waitress'
3. Ran to Maryland along the beautiful C&O Towpath to The Decemberists
4. Ate cheddar cheese, Mexican and Chinese food as much as possible. Went to Trader Joe's every day. haha
5. Did a family reunion and spent time reconnecting with my family, and even meeting some new cousins! A lot of my family lives in the Maryland area, so I really lucked out there.
6. Went to the US Capitol, sat in on the Patriot Act expiration session with Sen. Paul. Tried not to laugh as I heard someone's cell phone (someone on the floor!) go off during Sen. Paul's last speech - It was "Let It Go" from Disney's Frozen. LOL
7. Holocaust Museum, Newseum, Portrait Gallery, ALL Memorials, the Archives, saw the Magna Carta, Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights, and the Constitution., Hope Diamond (at Smithsonian Museum of Natural History), Experienced the biggest Memorial Day parade I've ever seen!
8. Regained my LGBT card, went clubbing with some PC friends and new friends!
9. Spent some good quality time with my brother and his family in Brooklyn. First time reading a story to my niece. AMAZING.
10. Oh yeah, and hung out with Sid in NYC, saw Book of Mormon, met Sid's cool friends, chilled VIP at the Clean Bandit concert with Janelle Monae.. ;-)

What I Discovered About Fitness In Peace Corps... ("Wait, Weight, Don't Tell Me!")

Staying fit in Peace Corps can at times be interesting (read: a challenge). I didn't know what to expect in regards to exercise, and I am still learning. It has been a hard road long before Peace Corps. Here’s why:

My gym days in 'Merica :-P

I wasn't the fittest kid growing up, in fact I was what you would call chubby. I didn't know anything about sports, exercise, or nutrition. I had a basic understanding of group sports and calisthenics from middle school and high school PE class, but nothing that would really motivate me to continue. Throughout my 20's, I learned little by little about all these things. Since I didn't play organized sports as a kid, I never learned the basics and had to learn all the do's and don'ts on my own. I suppose that my journey into fitness started during my Senior year of High School. I had been wanting to play football since Junior year, but after several discussions with the football coach, I soon realized that I should have started looooong ago. Of course, this may not be news to most people - but I was not aware, and thus had too late a start. I was kinda screwed straight from the gate. Although football was out of the question, he did suggest that I sign up for his weight training class; and that I did. At the age of 18, I began lifting weights. Though this commitment, I discovered a new passion.

Cut to me 14 years later, joining the Peace Corps. I knew things would be different. I had lots of questions: Will there be any fitness centers or gyms where I’m going? Will I be able to run outside safely? Will I lose my motivation?  How would I adapt?

Well, there is a gym in my town. Although the folks there are very friendly and try to maintain the equipment, it is more often than not in varying stages of disrepair, unfortunately. Better than nothing, right? I'm sure there are Peace Corps places where there isn't a gym for hours away, so I am so grateful. I have been working out there for the last 7 months or so. I am grateful that it exists, but must admit that it isn’t all roses. With very young kids running around, playing with the weights and equipment, (sometimes nearly injuring themselves!) I find it hard to maintain my desire to keep going back. It's hard to be around. I’ve even come in when a guy was smoking a cigarette while doing bicep curls! It’s the contrast you see here so frequently. I could go on, but I like to focus on solutions rather than problems. It's not my place to judge. But since it has been the only gym in town, I found myself going back. Adapt right?

My community gym

Running by the village of Togëz

Having been recently motivated by lack of money to actually afford the gym (more on volunteer "wages" later), I have taken to a habit I usually avoid – running outdoors (especially when it is cold). I’m a gym rat through and through (or gym bunny, which I guess sounds cuter LOL). But okaaaay. Whatev. I found out a few things: 1. It’s not so bad, if you don’t mind a little cold and a lot of onlookers along the way (the villagers don’t see jogging Americans coming through very often. hehe 2. I get to say hello to pretty much all the shop-owners along the way. 3. People get to see “the American” running – who knows? Maybe one day they will join me. :-)
 
My friend Arbi and I have written an outline plan to build a little mini-gym right here at the house. Sweet! Sure it will be basic, but we can make it work. A bench, some cement bricks for box jumps, a bar for pull-ups, parallel bars for dips, a set of free-weight dumbbells and barbells, and a couple gym mats – done! Oh, and of course, a clock. What I discovered about life in Peace Corps is that there are #NoExcuses for missing a workout.

Me and my buddy Arbi after a killer workout

TOP 5(ish) PACKING ITEMS FOR PEACE CORPS

Ok, so there is a weight limit on baggage. Did you know that? Well I didn't until I arrived at the airport. That being said, I definitely knew that the amount of stuff I could bring to Albania would be limited to how much I could physically transport all at once. After all, I have to get it there by myself first, right?? That being said, I had to decide on what to bring and what to leave behind. Here is a list of 5(ish) things (okay 6) that I am glad made the cut. :-)

5. INDEX CARDS– Yes, basic index cards. For the life of me, I cannot seem to find ANY in Albania. I’m kinda old-school when it comes to studying language, and really like to have actual paper flash-cards made to learn new vocab. I’m trying to go digital and switch to Anki, but I am so glad I had these ready when I arrived in country. 

4. RECHARGEABLE MINI-SPEAKER - $14 from Target – This little popup device comes in handy quite often. Having a slow day in the classroom? Why not start a circle dance? (heck, it’s Albania, you should ALWAYS find a way to incorporate circle dancing into your lesson plans!)  lol. What’s even cooler is that you can link these up to increase the volume, and if you twist them, they have a neat little “bass” function. Rechargeable through any USB port!

3. TOYS, TOYS, TOYS! – So back home I had a drawer, and in this drawer I had, well, a bunch of STUFF – knick-knacks, key-chains, thingy’s from conferences (you know, like pens, notepads, chotchkies), wristbands, and other souvenirs that would have never make their way out of said drawer. Well, why let these trinkets die a quiet death? Your baubles can bring a little joy to a kid out here in Albania. It may be an additional burden to carry, but well worth it once you see them smile. :-D (oh, and after returning home, we’ll have less “stuff” to unpack! Hehe (aww yeah!)

Me with a Halloween mask re-purposed for the "Penguin Dance"

2. RECHARGEABLE USB BATTERY - $20 from Radio Shack, this little sucker comes in handy during every long furgon ride. Works with any USB device and can be re-charged through a laptop or any other USB port. Love this thing!

1b. SNOW BOOTS – As a San Francisco native, I’m not used to actual “Seasons.” I am so glad to have these to protect my uber-sensitive California feet. I got my LOWA’s at REI on clearance for around $80. Thanks you Elliott and Sid your help in picking these out! 

 

1a. SLEEPING PAD - Thermarest "Scout" - A gift from my folks (thank you folks!), this has been so handy as most of the buildings in Albania are straight up concrete. When the time comes to crash on someone's floor, you will certainly be glad to have one of these. Oh, it's also great for yoga, meditation or stretching! Another MUST BRING. :-)