The Aftermath

So as many of you have read, I recently came out of the closet in my town here in Albania. I wanted to do just a bit of follow up.

The Good

Firstly, I am safe. Reactions in my town have been primarily positive. I haven't had any graffiti sprayed across my door nor any rocks thrown through my windows. I haven't had altercations in the streets nor any verbal abuse from the locals. In fact I have had more than a few people become great allies through this experience.

Some local gay people have contacted me and thanked me for coming out, as they don't have the ability to do so here in Albania. That really made me happy to hear! That is exactly why I am doing this. I am trying to use my influence here as an American to do something that others are not able to do.

As a result of my last blog post, I was invited to share about Civil Rights at a book fair in Tirana on Sunday, at a pavilion hosted by the US Embassy. I spoke about my coming out experience as well as a famous San Francisco LGBT Activist named Harvey Milk. 

The Bad

I have had a couple negative reactions, mostly from younger adults. There are now some people here who don't talk to me anymore. I have had one person un-friend me on Facebook and one person block me after un-friending me. Note that I had been friends with both of them for more than a year now. I will admit, it does hurt to have relationships thrown away over something that I cannot change. That is always the risk of coming out. That was the reason that I didn't feel connected to my friends here. So-called 'good friendships' could easily turn into hostile relationships should people discover my little secret. Frankly, I would rather be hated for who I am than be loved from who I am not. The benefit of coming out is that you find people who are willing to love and accept you for who you are.

The Uncertain Future

Who knows what will happen tomorrow or the next day. I will still be here for another 8 months.

I knew that going into this would mean treading new waters. The dangers are not clearly identified and protection is not guaranteed. I get varying degrees of support from friends. Some dissuading me from this type of work, while others being my dearest cheerleaders. Even my good friends who are regularly checking in with me to see how I am doing and dealing with things cannot protect me from the occasional worry that occupies my mind late at night. This worry takes the form of doubt to whether I am making the right choices. I really wish that I had someone next to me to help me through this step-by-step. (I suppose we all do...) I don't have a guide nor the experience, and at times I feel a bit of panic. "Was that too much?" "Are people going to judge me?" "Did I say the right thing?" "Are folks who constantly tell me to be careful going to be there and support my decisions if something goes wrong?"

How can an activist do what they need to do without pushing through discomfort? Without trying something different and bold, and even potentially dangerous? Where would our civil rights be if people never wanted to rock the boat? Who would people follow if no one spoke up? No one is perfect, yet when we look back in history we tend to idolize certain people in the civil rights movement. We clear them of imperfections and put them high on a pedestal. We make them more than human. Yet they all are human. They, like us, like me, have faults. I can only do the best with what I have. I try to tell myself that I don't have to be perfect. I try to be brave and do what my heart tells me is right, despite the fear. I suppose that is what really matters.

Coming Out in Albania

Me being gay in Albania. Pretty wild, right?

My name is Jon. I am a 33 year old American Peace Corps Volunteer living in a small town in eastern Albania. Librazhd is much like any other Albanian town: Chickens everywhere, grandmothers riding donkeys, and a regular call to prayer echoing from the local mosque. This has been my home for the last 17 months, and where I decided to come out as gay.

 

I have been out of the closet from the last 17 years, but Albania is much different from my hometown of San Francisco. So I accepted the fact that joining Peace Corps might mean going back in. However, after I moved to Albania, I found that the LGBT movement here is fast-progressing, and I wanted to do my part to support the brave women and men fighting for this cause. With encouragement from my loving parents, family, friends, and fellow Peace Corps volunteers, I felt ready to take this on.

 

I first considered requesting a move to the capital city of Tirana to do this LGBT work, as it would be safer to do it there. An activist friend suggested that I consider simply being myself in Librazhd. Would it be easy? No, probably not. Could anyone guarantee my safety? Nope. Might this crazy idea actually be worth the risk? You bet!

 

Still, I had worries. Despite making many friends, I felt like they would immediately reject me if they knew that I was gay; I wonder if many people would invest years of their life building friendships that could potentially turn violent.  This fear was also reinforced by people around me and from what I have read. Luckily, support came to me just in time from an unlikely source. 

 

Me and my best friend in Librazhd

The first Albanian in Librazhd I told was my best friend, a straight young man well known in the community. He already knew a lot about me and we had spent a lot of time together, and because I felt that if I were to have a reason to return to Librazhd after my Peace Corps service, I'd have to make at least one true friend here. This meant being my true self. 

 

I sat down with him over lunch and told him my truth. He was very supportive, and in fact had suspicions for some time. His cousin had asked him previously if I was gay, and it made him consider this. He told me:

"It doesn't matter to me. You are my brother. I accept you for the way you are. It makes no difference to me. I love you like family." 

It was hard not to tear up over his unexpected reaction. His sister (who lives in the United States, and who knew about me previously) had hinted that he would be accepting, but I was still worried. In small towns like this, if you decide to reveal a secret, once it is out there is no controlling the spread of gossip and rumor. Still, it was a risk that I wanted to take. I am so very glad that I did. 

 

Since telling my friend, word has been getting out. I thought it a good idea to simply let the gossip spread. I told my friend that if someone asks him about me, he is to tell them the truth. We are a team now. Every day I will come out to at least one new person. By the end of my service, most people here would have heard about the gay American man. 

 

My friends showing their support.

I recall one day coming out to two guys. They asked how I liked the girls here (guys often refer to a beautiful girl as a "peach", a vulgar term for a vagina) and my friend interjected and said "He's not interested in them. My friend Xhon here likes the banana, not the peach. Okay?" They simply said "Oh, okay." Bam, That's how it happened! Ever since that moment they have been very accepting and supportive. As least 30 people here now know about me being gay, and I have not been driven out of town with pitchforks yet. 

 

Albanians seem to value the opinions of Americans. I want to use that influence to help further rights for my LGBT brothers and sisters in Albania. My hope is that people will now have at least one person that they know of who is gay (and hopefully their impression of me is a positive one). I feel that simply to know and accept one gay person is enough to open their hearts to all. Maybe one day it will make it easier for a parent or family member to accept their gay child, brother, sister, or cousin.

"I care for what's in your mind, not about your sexual preference. To me, it's okay, and I care for you. You are my friend. That is what matters." – Librazhd resident, early 20s.

Me being me in Albania. :-)

Belgrade Hosts LGBT Pride Parade, Less Police Indicates Progress

Participants were all smiles at the 2015 Belgrade LGBT Pride Parade

Re-posted from Historia-Ime.com

Belgrade, Serbia - More than 1,200 individuals gathered in Belgrade last Sunday (Sept. 21^st) to march in a pride parade to support the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) community in Serbia. This is the second year in a row that such a pride parade has happened in this central Balkan country without any incidence of violence. In 2010, parade-goers were met with hostility and violence from extremists, injuring at least 95 participants and police (according to the BBC). Last year, marchers were surrounded by thousands of Serbian riot police in an effort to ensure the safety of participants and the success of the event overall. This year saw a drastic decrease of 50% in police presence needed at the event (according to Civil Rights Defenders)

Serbia, a former Yugoslav state, is now an EU Candidate (according to BBC) and is negotiating its EU accession (according to World Bank). The parade has been seen as a test for the Serbian government to prove its commitment to EU standards on Human Rights (according to NBC News). In a show of support, marchers were joined by Serbia's European Integration Minister Jadranko Joksimovic, Culture and Information Minister Ivan Tasovac, and Belgrade Mayor Sinisa Mali. (according to RFERL). 

Bekim Asani, president of LGBT United Tetovo Macedonia has been a participant in the parade before and noted progress:

“I saw less people than last year but found a more supportive environment… Last year I was more scared. This year I was freer. It was real pride with a lot of music, dancing, and rainbow flags. For first time I saw people supporting the pride from their balconies and windows.”

Similar pride parades have occurred in the Balkan region, with varying degrees of acceptance from locals. Some communities have yet to host a pride event, such as in Niksic, Montenegro, where the government has banned such an event for the third time this year. Asani comments on the possibility of a pride event in his community “Macedonia is in deep political crisis... I can't say much about organizing pride. Who knows? Maybe soon…”

The Serbian Orthodox Church had condemned the parade in the past and had again staged a quiet, yet smaller protest this year, yet less violence and a smaller protest could indicate more acceptance among Serbians for LGBT people. Civil Rights Activist Ivan Mitic, 21, of Serbia, sees progress here, noting:

  

“It (the 2015 Belgrade Pride Parade) showed that we made a move forward - maybe a little one, but still, we made it. If you read comments on forums, there is so much hate speech, but that is something that is hard to change. Journalists had more positive reporting than in previous years. Despite all those negative comments… there were many comments showing support to pride and explaining (…) why is it important.”  

-          Written by Jon Breen, LGBT Rights Activist

Don't Put Jack In The Box (He Won't Stay!)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^~CHECK OUT MY VIDEO ABOVE~ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The sign is in Serbian means 'My rights, my demands' (rough translation)

What an amazing last several days this has been! I have been back in Librazhd for a day now, and so far nobody in my community has mentioned anything about my participation in the pride event. The pitchforks never made an appearance thankfully! It is a bit strange really, after an experience like this. I come back to Librazhd with nothing but a group of young guys (cunes) hollering at me in the street, and making meaningless conversation. They were most likely drunk and just being silly, but I just thought it so weird. They asked what I was up to. I said I just came back from Serbia. They were shocked, and a few seconds later, asked if I met a nice Serbian girl. Sigh.........  And these are people who can see all my Facebook posts! I'm laughing and crying at the same time. Mostly, I'm just glad to be back. The truth is I missed Librazhd. I really did.

A proud moment holding the Pride flag down the streets of Belgrade. That's me in the blue shirt (in case you didn't know)

Well-protected, at any cost.

I think sometimes that I should be less ostentatious about my gay-ness - that I should tone it down a bit. To go from diva to queen, or queen to fairy, or something like that. I don't know the order. Anyway. When I was walking up to the parade, I just felt a sudden rush of adrenaline that really made me want to be... well... me! I wanted to be me for a long time now. Being in Peace Corps kinda puts one in an awkward situation of potentially going back in the closet. That's what happened to me. Well, I decided to go in the closet because it was suggested and took that suggestion. But now? Well, now I'm a big 'ol gay jack-in-the-box., and I can't seem to but the lid back on... Pop! There I go again, bustin' out the door! No closet for me. No sir-ee.

Me and my friend Bunny

Many of you reading might be thinking "oh hell, here we go... I hope he knows what he's doing." Actually, that's what I think to myself too! The truth is, no one has ever been in this particular situation before. Not now. Not in Albania. Not in my community. Not me. So....

Is it a wise decision to continue down this path? I believe so.
Do I know it will be completely safe? Absolutely not.
How do I feel about it? Scared, but certain. This is the right thing to do.

I'd always prefer to be me, even if it means walking blindly into the night. This past week has strengthened my resolve, and further solidified my conviction.

From left to right - Peter Tatchell (Peter Tatchell Foundation), Tanya Domi (Columbia University), Brian Silva (Marriage Equality USA), Irene Hemelaar (LGBTI Emancipation),  and Frank Van Dalen (Politieke Academie, Amsterdam)

During the week leading up to the Pride Parade, they held the Belgrade Pride Conference presented by Civil Rights Defenders. I found the lectures and panels quite interesting. Discussions included LGBT activists speaking on the realities of their respective communities, local journalists articulating the struggles of the media in Serbia, NGOs speaking about grassroots efforts, and elected officials and representatives putting the LGBT discussion in terms of European Integration and refugees. The buzzword of the week was "Cross-sectionality" seeing our struggles not as one singular effort, but as an interaction of many intersecting populations and needs, taking every perspective into account. The panels gave everyone in the room a chance to hear many different perspectives and to learn about the unique situation of each LGBT person in that room. Hopefully we all came out of that room appreciating just how unique we all are.

A panel of LGBT Activists (from left to right) - Mona (Kosovo), Lejla (Bosnia), Xheni (Albania) and Danijel (Montenegro);
Moderator Vasilika (Albania)

During the course of the week, I got the chance to meet queer activists from all over the Balkans - Macedonia, Kosovo, Montenegro, Serbia, Greece, Albania, and Bosnia/Herzegovina. Although I don't know any Greek, and only a few phrases in Serbian, most people spoke enough English to converse. I could speak with the Albanians and Kosovars as they both speak Albanian. Lucky for me, at a conference like this, pretty much all the debates, lectures and panels are held in English. We did have headsets for the sessions where multiple languages were spoken. At times I found it hard to really understand the translations coming through the headsets, but it was certainly better than nothing. I feel so grateful to hear their opinions and viewpoints. Having a voice is what this is all about. The freedom to express ourselves. The freedom to get together, assemble, and make ourselves known to the world. :-)

We may live in different countries, but we are activists. We are family. 

Belgrade Pride: On My Way Home...

Belgrade Pride 2015

Belgrade Pride is over and I am on my way back to my site in Albania with a short stop in the capital. I can't help but wonder how my local community will react to my participation in this event. I have been posting a lot of photos, videos and news articles on Facebook lately about Belgrade Pride. I have also been quoted by the AP and AFP, so my name is starting to float all around the web for this event. There are also countless photos and videos of pretty much everyone there captured by hundreds of journalists in attendance. This was indeed a mass media event! I am hoping that I don't come home to villagers with pitchforks ready to drive the gay American out. It may be laughable, but it is a concern. The danger may not always be around, but it is REAL. Gossip spreads really fast here, and one step over the line can cost a volunteer his site.

I'm hoping all this coverage will reach the Serbian general population (in an appropriate way.) One never knows the angle a reporter will take. Depending on the hot topic du jour, one could place this event in a positive way or in a potentially harmful way. That is the power of the media - the former angle fostering harmony, the latter creating division.

Hot Topic - Gearin' up for Belgrade Pride!

Belgrade Pride 2010 - Photo credit: http://kaosgl.org/page.php?id=9540

I will attending a conference in Belgrade, Serbia this week at the invitation of an organization in Albania called Civil Rights Defenders. The focus will be Belgrade LGBT Pride. Wow. Let that sink in for a moment.

If Serbia is not the first place you associate with LGBT Pride, you are not alone. Many Americans only recall Serbia from its role in bloody rivalries and wars for independence during post-Yugoslavia days of the early 1990's. Words like Croats, Serbs, and Bosnians were thrown around like hot coals from journos setting the fears of many an American ablaze. This is not the place where one throws a Pride. Or is it?

The struggle for LGBT rights in this land-locked Eastern European country has not been easy. Back in 2010, the parade was seen with an anti-gay riot . Some 5,000 police held back the anti-gay rioters from event participants.

Belgrade Pride 2010: Photo from: http://kaosgl.org/

Truth be told, after I read this, I was initially somewhat nervous about going. But never once did I think twice about wanting to go. This is what I need to do. I need to help people here. I need to be there because other people can't. I need to show up and do my part because other LGBT individuals will die if I don't. I need to march, because somebody marched for me in 1970 in San Francisco. I wouldn't have the life I have today if they didn't. We'd still be living the Anita Bryant era of horror and BS.

I was able to attend the first LGBT March in Albanian history last year (although there has been an annual LGBT bike ride each year that started around 5 years ago). This year I will be able to attend another groundbreaking march. Although it may not be the first pride parade there, it is so very important. I thought of Albania's bloody feuds with the so-called neighbors to the north. After the conflict between Albania and Serbia over Kosovo's independence from Serbia, the two countries still seem to keep their distance. (Including the infamous Albania-Serbia futbol match). Political relations between the two seem amicable, yet with a seeming undercurrent of resentment over Kosovo.

Tirana Gay Ride 2014!

All politics aside, I will be there on a completely different capacity. I will be there to support Belgrade Pride and the Balkan LGBT Community. Previous years saw conflict, violence and civil unrest. As with any civil rights movement, things are getting better. Just how much better it is now? Well, I suppose we will find out. With many of the Balkan's best LGBT activists gathered together, the stage is set for quite a spectacle. And what a spectacle it will be.

'Operation Closet Door' (Here's where the fun begins!)

So I decided to come out to my best friend in my site. I had been wanting to do so for a long time now. I felt it necessary to be more open and honest with close friends. I would, of course, love to be more open and honest with my entire community, but I am not sure how that would roll out. For now, I am starting with my friends.

I was happy to find that it was not an issue for him. In fact, he half-suspected already and was very supportive. I hadn't stated it specifically, but I'm sure he could tell for various reasons. I was so relieved! I really can't articulate the feeling of having that conversation go well. It feels amazing.

At a certain point in my service, I was becoming frustrated at the lack of close friends I had at site. By close friends, I mean those who would not treat me poorly once they found out about my orientation. It is hard for me to invest time in a relationship knowing that there is a possibility that the other person would end up hating me. Would you? I have to make friends to integrate, and so I did. But, there was always that secret. I didn't feel like they would be anything more than acquaintances. It is nice to have those folks who I can say 'hi' to everyday on my way down the main street in town. Some of these acquaintances can turn into interesting friendships (gym buddies, people to chat and have coffee with, colleagues, etc). Others don't go much further than the following conversation. Note: The word 'Cune' (pronounced "Ch-oon") is a young male:

Me: 'C'kemi?'(what's up?)
Cune: 'Xhoni! O daku! C'kemi?' (Jon! Oh, dude! What's up?)
Me: Hiq ('nothing')
Cune: Hey, you like Albanian girls? (in English)
Me: Ummm... Sure. I guess.
Cune: They are hotter than American girls? (in English)
Me: They do have very nice hair...
Cune: Maybe you will get married to an Albanian girl one day!
Me: Po.... hahahahaha.... Ah k'shu (Yes, haha, well then...)
*Cough*
(Awkward pause)
Cune: Mire, shihemi me vone! (Good, see you later!)
Me: Shihemi. Pacim! (See you! Bye!)

End scene

I feel like interactions like this make it harder to connect. Talking about women, sex, and drugs is often seen as a way the Albanian guys try to connect with us male American volunteers. I seems like they think we love to talk about girls and drugs all the time, and so they start off like that. I do see potential here for deeper understanding, but honestly I'm not sure how much time that would take. It can be challenging to strike up a meaningful conversation in passing (for both sides). Of course, not all guys are like this. The above conversation merely represents a group of conversations and interactions I've had since coming to Albania. There are countless amazing young men in Albania. One must always acknowledge that, while discussing such things.

That being said, I have seen that when guys are in a group, they tend to speak in this way. They tend to joke a lot more, speak more bluntly, and talk about this kind of subject matter. When alone, it seems that they open up more about themselves and are a bit easier to engage with. Maybe that's a global phenomenon!

Peace Corps was initially a bit scared when I spoke about 'coming out' in my community. They reminded me of the option to evacuate should I require assistance. haha... Although it scared me a bit at first, later I felt comforted by such words. After all, nobody really knows what the reactions might be. This is a post-communist, highly traditional, primarily Islamic country. But once I get past all that, I see hope. I see possibility. I see the vision of Albanian LGBT society living openly and in the light of their communities. I see that future for them, and for me.

I decided that I need to try to come out to my community. I have named this self-imposed assignment  "Operation Closet Door." :-) So far, so good. I haven't encountered any drama, violence, threats, or harassment... yet. It is not easy opening up this topic in a place where such things are never discussed. I feel it my duty as an LGBT activist to have those awkward conversations, and open the door to Albanians who live here. They might not feel comfortable being the first to talk about such things. I also feel it my duty as an American to help. Somebody has to! As Peace Corps has so kindly reminded me - I have the protection of the American Government on my side. If I can use that privilege to help closeted LGBT men and women living here, then that's precisely what I plan to do.

Let The Outreach Begin!

Earlier this Summer, my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers and I (in partnership with two NGOs) applied for a Peace Corps SPA Grant for LGBT Community Outreach throughout Albania. The idea started from a former volunteer (more formally called "Returned Peace Corps Volunteer" or RPCV) who served in Albania from 2012-2014. He had completed his project right before I arrived. It just so happened that our service years overlapped a bit, and I was able to learn about his project early on in my service. I liked the project design and thought it would be great to replicate and even expand if possible during my service (2014-2016). I am happy to say that we were awarded the grant funds last week!

Overview

The idea is to educate Albanians about LGBT issues and build awareness of the LGBT Community. Our work is primarily outside of the capital city of Tirana, as these areas are less exposed to such subject matter. Our target audience is younger individuals, as this population tends to be more receptive, and can be more easily engaged in a classroom or group setting. Me and my fellow group mates will work with a group of amazing activists from two NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations) to facilitate each engagement - Aleanca Kunder Diskriminimit LGBT (Alliance Against LGBT Discrimination) and ProLGBT. 

What's New?

This year we are looking to expand the network of the NGOs by engaging members of the community and working with them as a local contact point. It is our hope to create a network that will serve to provide more safety and support for the LGBT people across the country (more about this concern below). We also hope that this will allow for sustainability after Peace Corps has finished its mission here in Albania. 

Timeline

We already started! We are looking to do outreach until all 13 sites are visited. This will happen between now and April 2016. Check out the next post for info on our first outreach engagement!

A Growing Concern

As it stands, many LGBT people seek community in Tirana. For some, the situation in their home town is so hostile that they move away. Of course, without local support from family or friends, the only place one has to go is Tirana. This is a country where family means a house, food, and community. When a family rejects a son or daughter for their sexual orientation, the child loses their ability to care for themselves. Once the community finds out that one of their own is a 'deviant,' it is no longer possible to remain in the closet. Word travels fast, especially in small towns. Thus Tirana becomes a sort-of mecca for LGBT in Albania. Hardly the bastion of gay life as in San Francisco, New York, Berlin or even Tel Aviv, it is better than facing derision from their family and community day after day. So they go. They seek a better life - yet possibly with no job prospects, no job training, limited English skills, little/no money, and nothing in their possession but the clothes on their backs. Luckily there is a shelter that caters to LGBT youth that will house them, cloth them, and give them food, psycho-social support, and even vocational training. When did this start, you may ask? Just last year, around December 2014. :-) If you would like more information about the shelter visit STREHA SHELTER (And yes, of course they always need support and donations!)

LGBT: What It's Like: Part II

(Continued from earlier blog post - LGBT: What It's Like - Part I)

 

On our journey, my so-called 'Pink Posse' and I will see the reality of the situation here in Albania. There have not been any riots or protests against LGBT people, there are no major political hardliners using religion to gain favor at the expense of LGBT people, and I personally have not experienced any hate directly regarding LGBT people. Things seem calm. But are they? What will happen when one starts churning the waters? Will the Albanians that we encounter suddenly realize that LGBT people are not just in America but all around them? Teaching their children? Hanging out together in school? Sitting next door? Across the bar? Working at the café? Even looking across the room from them every day as a brother, sister, aunt, uncle, or even parent?! What will happen then? Maybe nothing.

Maybe the abolishment of religion in Albania in 1967 laid the foundation for a society that has no reason to really hate gay people. In America, some fanatics use religion as a means to deny the rights of their fellow citizens. This vocal minority are not just expressing their religion, they are voting bigots into power, further promoting a system of hate that in turn makes the lives of many LGBT people a living hell. I commend those who use religion to find peace and love in the world. I like to believe that this is the majority of people, but... it is hard to tell sometimes. I’d hate to think that the abolishment of religion altogether is the solution to creating a more accepting society! That would be a sad day for humanity indeed. I’d like to think that people are capable of having disagreement and yet still showing love for each other. It’s almost a metaphor for a family gathering during the holidays. Isn’t there room for all opinions at the dinner table?

For What It's Worth... or "Stop, Hey, What's That Sound?"

I feel like there are so many untold stories... I want to help bring them to life

Recently I have been curious about journalism - not just about how its done, but about actually participating as a journalist. I suppose that the idea of being a journalist appeals to me because it doesn't require me to be in any specific place. It is something that can engage my mind all day long. I might find a story anywhere or at any time. Even as I sit on this hot furgon (minivan) out here in Eastern Albania, sweating in my cheap shorts and worn out H&M tank top, the call to prayer from the local mosque wakes me from my reverie. It reminds me to pay attention to what's going on around me. I am somewhere special. When I can appreciate a moment, put it into context, it suddenly becomes more interesting. In truth, anywhere can be interesting. I feel that now. I feel it here. Let's see where this goes...

LGBT: What It's Like - part 1

Lately I have been meeting a lot of people in the LGBT community here in Albania and even some in Macedonia and Kosovo. It is interesting to hear their perspectives and what life is like for them in their respective communities. Things seems pretty dire in Macedonia, more so than I realized. I am not sure what the history of LGBT rights are out there, but I do hope to find out soon.  I heard stories about violence, harassment, verbal abuse, stalking, and even anonymous threats.

I am trying to understand the dynamics of what’s going on here. I grew up in San Francisco, one of the bastions of LGBT rights in the world. When I was a teenager, I would see drag queens sashay-ing up the street, naked people walking as if their skin were made by Karl Lagerfeld himself, and so-called 'daddies' all strutted up in black leather harnesses like extras in the latest Roman movie epic. It is where LGBT people fought for their rights for decades, and now where people with HIV can get adequate care. (One wonders whether those people can still afford to live there or not, but that is another discussion entirely.)

I am now in Albania. I am in a post-communist country. The population is mostly Muslim. The country itself has been isolated for decades (from Europe and from the rest of the world to a greater extent.) It is a place where LGBT pride parades and demonstrations are just beginning to exist. It is a place where activists are making a difference on all levels – from grassroots efforts to advocacy at the governmental level. Policy change is happening here, thanks in part to Albania’s desire to join the European Union. (More about LGBT rights in Albania)

Something wonderful is happening here. I can feel it. I also feel that discussions that need to happen are not yet happening. I feel that the sh*t has yet to hit the fan. I hate to write in such vulgar terms, but it is exactly how I feel. As me and my ‘pink posse’ venture off into cities across Albania, we shall see what lies beneath the jovial surface. That’s the thing about exploring places unknown… you never really know what you’ll find…

 

Further Reading

Article: Albania: The Gay Movement You Never Imagined

A Gay Man, A Football, A Dream

Gerald "Jerry" Sanford Smith (July 19, 1943 – October 15, 1986) was a professional American football tight end for the National Football League's Washington Redskins from 1965–1977. Photo re-posted from: http://www.vixenvarsity.com/2014/01/24/why-no-gay-active-player-will-ever-come-out-in-the-nfl/#.VdRCyEnovIU

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to work with a professional athlete on an LGBT campaign. Of course it would be great if they were an Ally too. (Thank you Ben Cohen) It would be interesting to think about what impact that could have on youth across the globe, and even for parents of LGBT children. When I grew up I wasn't very confident when it came to sports. Not only was I inexperienced, I was also very shy. This got worse through middle school and into high-school. By the time I got the courage to pursue any sport (American Football), it was already too late to join any school-related group.

I wonder if being LGBT also held me back somehow. Did it give me one more reason to not participate? Yes. I can say that with certainty. Would I have been a lot better at sports if I wasn't LGBT - of course not! haha. But I might have practiced with friends if I felt comfortable with them. I just didn't know how to fit in as an athlete. To be in the 'jock' crowd can mean different things depending on where and when one goes to school. Even if it would have worked out fine, I didn't know it. No one at my school was there to guide me and show me how that would work. Then again, I never asked for help. I did occasionally chat with the football coaches but never acknowledging my orientation. That was a major piece missing. I was too intimidated.



"Michael Sam final Mizzou home game" by Marcus Qwertyus - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Michael_Sam_final_Mizzou_home_game.jpg#/media/File:Michael_Sam_final_Mizzou_home_game.jpg

Although there seems to be many LGBT athletes out there, I wish that I knew of any gay men as players in sports I was interested in, like: American Football (more recently: Michael Sam, Wade Davis, Alan Gendreau, Kwame Harris, Brian Sims, Esera Tuaolo), Boxing (Orlando Cruz), or Bodybuilding growing up. That might have given me the motivation I needed to start earlier. I must say it is so encouraging to see diversity coming through now from athletes like Caitlyn Jenner. The list of out athletes seems to grow every day. Certainly there are numerous athletes in other sports that have paved the way for more recent out athletes. Especially many props to the numerous Lesbian athletes who pushed through so many barriers to challenge stereotypes in sports and to put everything on the line to be themselves. I don't imagine it is easy for any professional athlete to come out as LGBT or even an Ally. When one's career is tied to sexual orientation (or can be influenced by), it makes it that much harder, and certainly more of a game-changer to come out (no pun intended). I would love to read more from these out athletes. If anyone has a suggestion, please comment below.
I'm thinking

After crossing the finish line! - 545 miles from San Francisco to Los Angeles, AIDS Lifecycle

Well, I'm a bit older now, and have played football with friends, taken boxing classes, and have been lifting weights at the gym for over 5 years now. It is interesting that this is still an interest of mine. It never went away. That is my happy place now.

Who knows if I will ever get a chance to even talk with an out athlete - To toss the pigskin around with Conner Mertens, learn to combo with Orlando Cruz, do a bench press with Bob Paris, or wrestle with Darren Young All I can say is that it would be an honor to do so. One can still hope, right?

Btw, check out this article regarding players coming out in sports. >>>> http://www.vixenvarsity.com/2014/01/24/why-no-gay-active-player-will-ever-come-out-in-the-nfl/#.VdRDWknovIV Do you Agree?



Running at the National Mall