Am I staying in Albania?

As a Peace Corps volunteer, my term of service is 27 months. I arrived in Albania in March of 2014. I lived in a village for two months for training. I then moved to my town where I would live for the next 24-ish months. We are preparing for our COS (Close of Service) Conference early next month and selecting our preferred date to leave Albania. Some leaving in April, others in May. After much consideration, I have decided to put my application in for an extension of service for another year. I am planning to come back home for a month in late June (so I can attend my brother's wedding), so I hope to see and catch up with many of you while I'm there.

Doing an extension means doing an assignment with a larger scope. My hope is to work with the leading doctor on HIV/AIDS in Albania and develop a national strategy to address HIV/AIDS. That would also mean a move to Tirana (the capital). There are lots of changes on the horizon, and I feel myself feeling very excited about the prospects ahead of me.

I also feel some fear of the unknown. This is all part of being an adult - being in situations where there might not be someone there to give you that high-five all the time, someone to guide you, someone to show you the next step. That is the risk of trying to pave a new path. Certainly paving a new way in the world can come with its share of doubts and uncertainty. The demons are everywhere. Lack up support, excessive criticism, and negativity can really take away one's motivation. Working in LGBT work is also a particularly lonely business sometimes. No one can guarantee your safety, people don't always share your enthusiasm or vision and you are constantly trying to find a way to fit in without having to pretend that you are someone you are not. One time may not be so bad. One thousand days? That can be challenging...

The Joy of Giving - A Peace Corps Christmas

Seasons greetings from Albania (or Gëzuar Festat (Geh-zoo-ahr Feh-staht) as we say here).

Her smile was the best present ever.

December is holiday time in Albania. Even though many Albanians are Muslim, there is still a lot of celebration around this time. People in my town put up trees, decorate them, put up strings of lights, hang images of Santa Claus in front of their shops, and even wear Santa hats. They say that it is for the New Year's celebration, not (necessarily) to celebrate Christmas. It is a happy marriage of tradition and festivity. I must say, I appreciate the added lighting. The sun is down by 4:15 pm and it gets dark usually around 4:45 pm. The days are short, and the nights are long and cold. 

Me with the Youth of Librazhd as Santa's Helpers

My Albanian home of Librazhd is not the wealthiest place. In fact, it is home to some of the poorest villages in Albania, and Europe by extension. Many children here are used to living on so very little. Still, I never hear them complain. I never see them upset about it. Quite the opposite. I see them laughing and playing, being kids. I see them making friendships and growing taller every day. It is an amazing thing to see. My life back in the US did not lend itself much to this amazing type of interaction. With three brothers all of similar ages, I never had a young sibling in the house. Being around kids is a new experience for me and one that I will cherish.

For the holidays, the local church organized a toy drive for the kids here (many of whom are also part of the Kampi Pa Emer). After a lovely Christmas celebration, we passed out snacks and boxes made specially for various age groups donated by a global Samaritan organization. I got to play Santa (or at least one of his helpers) along with several other young community members. The kids were so excited to get their presents. Smiles everywhere - including mine. What a holiday!

Kampi kids being uber adorable with their presents. They grow up so fast!

Last year, as part of our Kampi Pa Emer summer camp, we offered many of these kids oral health screenings, basic dental care and even some dental procedures! Free of charge of course. All this is free for the kids. This year we are looking to expand the dental services offered to the kids and even extend services to their parents, if possible. What we saw last year was quite heartbreaking - Kids as young as 4 and 5 with irreversible tooth decay. Black holes in the teeth with exposed nerves. Still, I see these kids smile as though nothing was wrong. It is hard to imagine having to go through life like that. Being in so much pain, yet being so used to it, that they never say anything. I admire them for their bravery. It is amazing what a little money can do. This year we want to do more for these kids! .

Giving to others feels so good. Giving to these kids feel AMAZING. Love my JOB!

This year Kampi Pa Emer provided dental screenings for over 60 kids, and further dental treatment and dental procures for more than 25 kids' teeth! I get excited just thinking how this was all possible thanks for a group of dedicated individual donors.

For more information on Kampi Pa Emer summer camp or to help support free dental services in our town, please visit: www.campnoname.org (or check us out on facebook!) We are currently trying to raise $5,000 to help these kids and their families in community. If you can do anything to help, please contact me. You can do such much good out here, I promise.

Celebrating New Year's Eve with my Albanian Family - Eating and making cheers, laughing, watching TV and taking some epic selfies!

Zumba: An Unlikely Peace Corps Project

What's that noise echoing around town? It's ZUMBAAAA!

Before I joined Peace Corps I had a vision of what my life would be like. -  I would live in a mud hut. I wouldn't have running water. I would be living in an isolated, sparsely-populated village where wifi access wouldn't definitely not be an option. With that in mind, I thought that my projects might include building an electricity grid, setting up a water system or even helping out at the local hospital with basic triage. I didn't imagine that I would be leading a class... for Zumba! But I am surely glad that I am.

What started off as an idea from some brief conversations with local youth and some support from friends back home, slowly turned into a regular group that has been meeting for over a year now. We are a rather small group, yet consistent. No less than 4, no more than 8. Through this class I am noticing several things. First, the girls feel comfortable around me. This took a bit of time. In the beginning, I noticed that there was a good mix of boys and girls. Once the boys realized that they would have to use their hips, they quickly got embarrased and would sit down and just watch. I could see that they wanted to participate, as they would get up for another song and dance again, only to sit back down when any hip action made its way into the routine. I asked why they weren't willing to try the routines, they said that they simply don't have hips. "Only girls have hips." to which I replied "Really? Well, I wonder what all those football players use to kick the ball, then." They were still not convinced. But it was of no concern to me. If the girls want to continue, I would be there.

We insist on having fun!

Zumba is not something that many people have a chance to do here in Albania, yet it is accessible for those with the motivation. We use Youtube videos to learn routines, practicing with videos projected on the wall. We simply follow along. We learn together (and make mistakes together). It's not about being perfect, it is about having fun, exercising, and doing something positive together.

We use music from several influences - latin (salsa, merengue, tango, reggaeton & cumbia), latin pop, hip-hop, pop, middle-eastern influence, and more). I like to pick videos that use people of different ethnicities, ages, body types, using both men and women. As the students learn with these diverse people through their videos, they get to share a sort-of bond with people of all backgrounds.

Gummi time at Kampi Pa Emer (summer camp)!

After 9 months of dancing with these youth, they asked me if I could teach the younger kids to dance. They also volunteered to help teach the classes with me! I didn't realize at the time, but this might just turn into something sustainable. Again, I don't teach the classes so much as learn the routines alongside them. Thus they are just as skilled as I am. The little kids Zumba has really taken off, bringing up to 25 kids at a time. Imagine for a moment the 25 little kids ages 4 - 10 wiggling to "Uptown Funk" or shaking to Moves Like Jagger. Adorable! They love to move, dance, and just act silly. Some of these kids have very little at home and really take to activities like this that let them just be kids. This has only been possible with the help and coordination of the older kids. Thus real community impact is starting to happen.

Me with an adorable lil Zumba princess

As of yet, we just make due with what clothes we have, but I would love to see some actual workout t-shirts or fun arm-bands, hip bands or something to make it more "Zumba-ey." Maybe a magic donor will arrive one day... Who knows? Maybe a flash mob in front of the Municipality will actually happen come spring time. :-) Yeah, this is Peace Corps. And yes, it is pretty frickin' awesome.

Breaking the Ice

Winter is Persimmon season!

With temperatures hovering near freezing, life out here in Librazhd seems to be slowing down. It's like we are all preparing to hibernate. No one is scheduling any new activities for the rest of the year. It is a sort-of domino effect. If one person is out, then others hold off their planning and meetings until they return. This causes everyone else to put things on lockdown for the time being. Integration in Peace Corps is all about adjusting to your environment. When people say 'wait,' you wait. That being said, there is still much that can be done until the complete holiday shutdown. In fact, this has actually been a productive week. With two active grants, I am quite pleased to see things moving along. One grant for LGBT outreach and another for Breast Cancer.

University students posed for a group photo with presenters from Peace Corps and ProLGBT

The LGBT Outreach project has been progressing splendidly. Our outreach team (the "pink posse") held its third outreach session in the Southern sea-side town of Saranda. Response from the University level audience was primarily positive. A couple participants had an issue with acceptance of LGBT people, but it made for some good discussion. Despite some differing opinions, all participants were respectful and gave us their full attention throughout the session. I feel like if we allow people to ask the questions they need to ask in order to understand what being LGBT is like, then they might be more willing to change their pre-existing beliefs. If we can leave the audience with a good impression of us, it may help improve their overall opinion of LGBT in general. I believe that face-to-face interaction in very important. If you can like just one LGBT person, you will be so much more likely to be open to others. So far, we are seeing some mostly-positive reactions.

Students presenting on HIV

My counterpart and I held a session on HIV/AIDS with 8th and 9th graders at town about 30 minutes down the road. They actually knew many facts about this subject, which was a great surprise. This was through our work with the Directorate of Public Health in Librazhd (which essentially oversees Public Health outreach throughout the region - roughly 87,000 individuals.) We are trying to get out of the city of Librazhd and bring our lessons to more areas of need. Of course this is quite a challenge, as funding for such efforts is not always available. It is a mystery, but a reality - how can a community promotions department operate with a budget of 0? Usually my counterpart and I will end up paying for our work travel ourselves (which is rather silly, as neither of us is earning very much at all.)  We got a grant to fund our expense for the Breast Cancer project, but we are still left to our own devices for all other health lessons and outreach. If dipping into our wages can help us do our jobs more effectively, then it's just something that needs to be done. I do wonder what will happen when I eventually leave my position here. I hope my counterpart will find a sustainable way to keep on doing this good work.

Middle School students wore red ribbons to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS in a small town in Eastern Albania

Through my PCPP project my counterpart and I will be holding our second workshop in the isolated village of Stravaj, educating women about Breast Cancer. Planning these sessions are quite a challenge, as we must take much into consideration: weather (snow), transportation (it takes about 2 hours to get to these remote mountain villages) and potential for event participation (the day/time/weather all need to be right for them to show up). Once it snows, all bets are off and we must wait until the thaw to hold our sessions. In many developed areas, this might not be an issues, as people have cars and can drive and meet us there. Our project primarily targets some of the poorest areas of Albania, and in Europe by extension. These are places with internet, power, and cell phone access. Let's hope the weather holds up!

Let the Holidays Begin!

Thanksgiving means family time

The Holidays were kicked off with a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner here in Librazhd, celebrated with fellow Peace Corps Volunteers and local Albanians. After all, Peace Corps Goal II is to share American Culture with 'host country nationals' (aka the 'locals'). We made our favorite dishes, including sweet potato pie, pumpkin pie, green bean casserole, stuffing and cranberry sauce. I made my not-so-famous but oh-so-yummy breaded cauliflower. :-)

My sitemate's colleagues trying out our T-Day cuisine. :-)

We even went around the room and each said what we were grateful for. Every single Albanian even participated. It was great! Plus, it seemed that they appreciated being included in this celebration. That is oh so Peace Corps. We are representatives of America, and in sharing our culture we are acting (albeit on a local level) as ambassadors. We learn the language, live with the families, work with the locals and even celebrate alongside them. That is something that Peace Corps really fosters through its structure - making individual and small group connections that can be so incredibly meaningful. Many people we encounter have never met an American in person. We therefore must be a little more open, a little more understanding, and that much more cognizant of our actions. We are representatives from our country, here to help and have a cultural exchange. Sometime that means one simply must put on their dancing shoes and party! (Albanian style of course)

Kids in Traditional Albanian outfits from the Librazhd Region

I recently went to a couple Albanian cultural performances in my community here. It was really nice to see local Albanians performing these traditional dances and songs, and reciting culturally-significant literature. I finally got to see the dance of my community - the Valle Rajcë with people dressed in local garb. Traditionally the Albanians in the Librazhd region were known as the 'çorape te kuq' which translates to 'the red socks' (something much loved by my friends from Boston).

With two of the most awesome boys in Albania and their families!

Both performances were packed. Every seat in the local Cultural Center was taken and people were even standing on the wings just to watch (including myself). I heard from a friend that two kids we knew were going to perform, so I thought I'd go and show my support. It was great! All the performances were done by students in the local schools. I was thoroughly impressed. What was even better was the fact that the kids in the audience showed appreciation for their peers' performances. Something I really like to see. The celebrations were to commemorate the Independence of Albania first celebrated on Nov. 28, 1912.

See the red socks? That's regional Librazhd dress.

Girls singing traditional Albanian anthems

The Aftermath

So as many of you have read, I recently came out of the closet in my town here in Albania. I wanted to do just a bit of follow up.

The Good

Firstly, I am safe. Reactions in my town have been primarily positive. I haven't had any graffiti sprayed across my door nor any rocks thrown through my windows. I haven't had altercations in the streets nor any verbal abuse from the locals. In fact I have had more than a few people become great allies through this experience.

Some local gay people have contacted me and thanked me for coming out, as they don't have the ability to do so here in Albania. That really made me happy to hear! That is exactly why I am doing this. I am trying to use my influence here as an American to do something that others are not able to do.

As a result of my last blog post, I was invited to share about Civil Rights at a book fair in Tirana on Sunday, at a pavilion hosted by the US Embassy. I spoke about my coming out experience as well as a famous San Francisco LGBT Activist named Harvey Milk. 

The Bad

I have had a couple negative reactions, mostly from younger adults. There are now some people here who don't talk to me anymore. I have had one person un-friend me on Facebook and one person block me after un-friending me. Note that I had been friends with both of them for more than a year now. I will admit, it does hurt to have relationships thrown away over something that I cannot change. That is always the risk of coming out. That was the reason that I didn't feel connected to my friends here. So-called 'good friendships' could easily turn into hostile relationships should people discover my little secret. Frankly, I would rather be hated for who I am than be loved from who I am not. The benefit of coming out is that you find people who are willing to love and accept you for who you are.

The Uncertain Future

Who knows what will happen tomorrow or the next day. I will still be here for another 8 months.

I knew that going into this would mean treading new waters. The dangers are not clearly identified and protection is not guaranteed. I get varying degrees of support from friends. Some dissuading me from this type of work, while others being my dearest cheerleaders. Even my good friends who are regularly checking in with me to see how I am doing and dealing with things cannot protect me from the occasional worry that occupies my mind late at night. This worry takes the form of doubt to whether I am making the right choices. I really wish that I had someone next to me to help me through this step-by-step. (I suppose we all do...) I don't have a guide nor the experience, and at times I feel a bit of panic. "Was that too much?" "Are people going to judge me?" "Did I say the right thing?" "Are folks who constantly tell me to be careful going to be there and support my decisions if something goes wrong?"

How can an activist do what they need to do without pushing through discomfort? Without trying something different and bold, and even potentially dangerous? Where would our civil rights be if people never wanted to rock the boat? Who would people follow if no one spoke up? No one is perfect, yet when we look back in history we tend to idolize certain people in the civil rights movement. We clear them of imperfections and put them high on a pedestal. We make them more than human. Yet they all are human. They, like us, like me, have faults. I can only do the best with what I have. I try to tell myself that I don't have to be perfect. I try to be brave and do what my heart tells me is right, despite the fear. I suppose that is what really matters.

Coming Out in Albania

Me being gay in Albania. Pretty wild, right?

My name is Jon. I am a 33 year old American Peace Corps Volunteer living in a small town in eastern Albania. Librazhd is much like any other Albanian town: Chickens everywhere, grandmothers riding donkeys, and a regular call to prayer echoing from the local mosque. This has been my home for the last 17 months, and where I decided to come out as gay.

 

I have been out of the closet from the last 17 years, but Albania is much different from my hometown of San Francisco. So I accepted the fact that joining Peace Corps might mean going back in. However, after I moved to Albania, I found that the LGBT movement here is fast-progressing, and I wanted to do my part to support the brave women and men fighting for this cause. With encouragement from my loving parents, family, friends, and fellow Peace Corps volunteers, I felt ready to take this on.

 

I first considered requesting a move to the capital city of Tirana to do this LGBT work, as it would be safer to do it there. An activist friend suggested that I consider simply being myself in Librazhd. Would it be easy? No, probably not. Could anyone guarantee my safety? Nope. Might this crazy idea actually be worth the risk? You bet!

 

Still, I had worries. Despite making many friends, I felt like they would immediately reject me if they knew that I was gay; I wonder if many people would invest years of their life building friendships that could potentially turn violent.  This fear was also reinforced by people around me and from what I have read. Luckily, support came to me just in time from an unlikely source. 

 

Me and my best friend in Librazhd

The first Albanian in Librazhd I told was my best friend, a straight young man well known in the community. He already knew a lot about me and we had spent a lot of time together, and because I felt that if I were to have a reason to return to Librazhd after my Peace Corps service, I'd have to make at least one true friend here. This meant being my true self. 

 

I sat down with him over lunch and told him my truth. He was very supportive, and in fact had suspicions for some time. His cousin had asked him previously if I was gay, and it made him consider this. He told me:

"It doesn't matter to me. You are my brother. I accept you for the way you are. It makes no difference to me. I love you like family." 

It was hard not to tear up over his unexpected reaction. His sister (who lives in the United States, and who knew about me previously) had hinted that he would be accepting, but I was still worried. In small towns like this, if you decide to reveal a secret, once it is out there is no controlling the spread of gossip and rumor. Still, it was a risk that I wanted to take. I am so very glad that I did. 

 

Since telling my friend, word has been getting out. I thought it a good idea to simply let the gossip spread. I told my friend that if someone asks him about me, he is to tell them the truth. We are a team now. Every day I will come out to at least one new person. By the end of my service, most people here would have heard about the gay American man. 

 

My friends showing their support.

I recall one day coming out to two guys. They asked how I liked the girls here (guys often refer to a beautiful girl as a "peach", a vulgar term for a vagina) and my friend interjected and said "He's not interested in them. My friend Xhon here likes the banana, not the peach. Okay?" They simply said "Oh, okay." Bam, That's how it happened! Ever since that moment they have been very accepting and supportive. As least 30 people here now know about me being gay, and I have not been driven out of town with pitchforks yet. 

 

Albanians seem to value the opinions of Americans. I want to use that influence to help further rights for my LGBT brothers and sisters in Albania. My hope is that people will now have at least one person that they know of who is gay (and hopefully their impression of me is a positive one). I feel that simply to know and accept one gay person is enough to open their hearts to all. Maybe one day it will make it easier for a parent or family member to accept their gay child, brother, sister, or cousin.

"I care for what's in your mind, not about your sexual preference. To me, it's okay, and I care for you. You are my friend. That is what matters." – Librazhd resident, early 20s.

Me being me in Albania. :-)